The thing about holidays is no matter what I am doing or how much fun I am having I always stop and think about where I was the previous year. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Timed intervals, designated by the all powerful greeting card companies, demanding careful contemplation and reflection. Thinking back on last year, so much has changed and I honestly cannot decide if I like where I am in comparison. Since last Valentines Day, oh my, how much I have grown. This time last year I was studying in my marketing emphasis, I was hanging around with a bunch of pretty cool kids, I was trying to find and internship, I was working my first semester in the reading center. Today, I am still working in the reading center (I like it a lot more now), I completed my internship (lived in the city for the first time and partook in the joys of public transit), I am hanging out with a different group of really cool kids (terminal friendships are a plague of college life), and I am taking my last 12 credits of my undergraduate study (8 weeks in counting!). Sounds like a natural progression.  I know that I have done a lot but I still don't think that I am quite where I want to be. Could I have done more? Could my life have gone in a completely opposing direction if I had made some different decisions? Is this where I should be?
Yes. All yes. It is good to stop and evaluate. It enables progression. It's never to late to step it up. I don't want to waste a moment more (but I will and that's okay).
This picture is from around January 16, 2009. It was the first time I returned to California since coming to school in Idaho. 874 days. I love everything about California. It is where I want to spend the rest of my life but it is okay if I don't. I can't think of anything ugly about the sunset at Santa Monica and the palm trees coming together (in a synergistic ballet) to form the shape of a heart. So happy Valentines, it's completely lovely. I hope you were somewhere amazing today and 365 days ago as well. 

 

It was as though I had traveled to the mystical world of Narnia as I walked out my front door less than a fortnight ago. My entire world, which admittedly isn't very large, was covered in the most beautiful layer of frost I've ever seen. On mornings like this everything is still. There seems to be no wind. Time nearly stops as the hustle and bustle of the walk to campus is muffled in these brief moments. As wondrous as these quiet mornings are I understand why the winter is acquainted with death. I don't really like to think about death, it is inevitable of course but I prefer to ponder on life. Life is too fleeting to waste. Remembering that we will one day die gives us the drive to live life without waste. I don't want to waste a moment more. I want to learn. I want to progress. I want to be myself, my very best self. These eerie mornings, where once beautifully leaved trees stand naked and covered in the harsh frost, feel like the world when all life has left. But I know if I close my eyes and breathe in deep, remembering the life that once was, the spring will come and the bitterness and pain of the winter will fade away. Life is about finding perspective, I hope that everyone can see the coming spring.  

...go to live shows. Sounds so very simple, and it is. And even though it's a concept that I have understood for a while I am sad that I have let myself miss so many opportunities. Especially go to the small shows. There is something oh so lugvely about the nervous giggles of a 16 year old aspiring musician and he pours his soul out to a crowd of strangers. The thing that is so great about going to live shows, even if you have never heard the headlining band, they are doing what they love. And when you put people together with what they love it is always magical. Perhaps one of my very most favorite things. Thanks to The Archers Arrows, you didn't disappoint, I'm a fan.  

Wow. I can't believe that it is 2010. When did that happen? Where did 2009 go? Thinking back I can't even believe where I was a year ago compared to where I am now. I have had so many experiences this past year, I feel like I am very different now than I was a year ago. I have learned more than I ever imagined possible. 
This summer I was here, where this picture was taken. Now I have followed the cables down the palm tree lined street as far as the eye can see (or as far as the photo permits). I know the road is still there, the path keeps going but I can't quite make it out. The uncertainty of the future and the fact that in 14 weeks I will be done with Rexburg Idaho crushes my soul a little bit...yet that spec in the distance is why I am working so hard. The ambiguity is terrifying and amazing at the same time, completely lugvely. I feel like I am being redundant with my previous posts about the future, sorry. IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT!


p.s. I promise to post some of the lugvely sites of Rexburg very soon!

The Oceanside beach is not the most revered beach along the southern California coast. It is however quite lugvely to me because I can recount hundreds of amazing memories here. Playing games, roasting Starbursts, sleeping in the sun, dancing in the waves,  and loving life. To you it may be just another beach, or maybe you share similar memories. 

Perspective matters. The problem is that we all have different perspectives. We can't help it. All of our experiences change how we approach situations. The only thing I can do is try to explain what it is that I see and to try to understand what you see. I don't understand why people seem to be so afraid of looking at something in a new way. Maybe I don't even need to tell you how I see it, maybe all you need to do to find something new is to just tilt your head. 

I don't think that I have ever had so many mixed feelings in my life. This is definitely lugvely. It's ridiculously ugly because I can't even believe I just applied for graduation, I can't believe my four years here are almost up, and I can't believe that in exactly six months I will be done. It is horrendously beautiful because I just applied for graduation, I have been here for four years, and in six months I will be done.

I am trying to come to terms with my mortality as a student.

This raises so many questions. I'm looking for answers. Let me know if you find any.

Dear Future,
Here I come, you better be ready. I'm an adult and we are gonna rock.

Sincerely,
Yours

I don't know why I have taken so long to post this picture because it just makes my heart so happy. Maybe I have just been waiting for a good day. Today was great. I don't even know why, it just was. And it's not even over! I am just feeling better, I still have a lot of worries and I keep changing my mind about everything. I guess that it's okay if all of the major aspects of my life are up in the air it means that I can go anywhere and do anything which I find refreshing.  I have decided it is okay if things aren't working out today and it is okay if my plans change because I know that when the dust settles and I figure out where I am it will be better than I could have imagined.
Now I don't own any Louis Vuitton and I don't think that I really care to, but this window display in SF (that wraps around the entire store window) might be one of my top five favorite things I found in the city this summer. It is amazing. Whoever came up with this is great. Thank you, you make me smile. Oh! I just love it so much!

I don't have much to say. Actually, that's not true. I have too much to say which makes it almost impossible to say anything. This might be one of my favorite lugvely places I've seen. It's quite great. I guess I should take some pictures of lugvely things in Rexburg, there are plenty that's for sure.

Fire escapes have always sort of interested me. I think they make a statement about human nature. We not only need a way out, we need multiple ways out. Nobody likes to feel trapped. It seems like having another way out gives us a sense of security. I really think lugvely things are just a reflection of us, who we are and who we want to be. Right now I feel like there is a very dramatic difference between who I am and who I want to be. I guess its just something that I need to keep working towards. At the same time I am a strong believer that it is the imperfections in life that make it worth living. If we were perfect we wouldn't need the fire escape, we would just never start the fire in the first place. Then again maybe the fire escape serves more than just the simple purpose of fleeing flames.

Okay. I know that I recently posted about making bad decisions and I think I need to amend it. What I meant was that I am ready and going to make the decision to do things that scare me, and that in the past I haven't really made the effort to push myself to try new things and that's what I want to do. I feel like I need to clarify this because tonight I am complaining about bad decisions and poor timing. Honestly, I feel like everything I have been doing this week is just not working out. I can't seem to catch a break. It has been BR0074L. Sometimes I feel like when I am trying to really make things work and get my point across it just falls apart, and leaves everything more confused than if I had just left it alone. I know I'm being ambiguous and maybe that's my entire problem. Maybe I should just come right out and say it. I'm just not there yet. Maybe someday. Maybe someday timing and well laid decisions will be on my side. Maybe.
I'm sure that some of these bad decisions and this bad timing took place in this car. I love this car. It is one of my favorite lugvely things. Each new owner adds a bit more character to this amazing car. If I had a better perspective I would see my poor timing and lame decisions as additions to my lugvely life like I see them on this car, but right now I am fresh out of happy-go-lucky viewpoints for the day. I will get over it, my timing may improve, I may figure my life out, and one day I will find the outlook I need. Until then, thanks Lurch for being my lugvely for the day.